The First Post

I'm starting this blog today.

My hopes are that it serves as an outlet for all those things that eat at my brain.
Sometimes, they'll be random.
Sometimes, they'll be so latent with brutal self deprecating honesty that it might even hurt the reader.
Maybe I should put a disclaimer on here?

[Warning: Reading this might invoke such strong feelings of empathy that you yourself (the reader) will turn into a cynical self loathing bastard just like the author. Read at your own risk.]

My hopes are, besides of course the obvious: That I can entertain, tickle, maybe even wow my reader. And I mean reader in the singular sense... I'm not so cocky to assume that anyone besides, well, one person will read this. I think that's fairly obvious. Unless of course you are dense or a very literal person. In which case, it is painfully obvious, or at least should be, that being that this is on the Internet, two people reading simultaneously word by word is next to impossible and the mere possibility of such assumptions are mind boggling. Unless of course someone is reading this over your shoulder as you read it, which is just plain annoying and you should slowly, as to avoid notice, push your chair back to push them out of your space. If your chair doesn't have wheels on it, buy one tomorrow that does, and for today maybe just fart if you can do so quietly.
But I digress.
You should probably get used to digressions by the way.
They'll be common place.
My original point being, if I had one, that ultimately I want to have someone so important, so influential, so powerful, read this very blog, see my words for their true genius, give me a book deal, and systematically lay down the foundation for the future that I want. My girlfriend would tell me, this is stupid. Probably will tell me this is stupid. Not the blog, but the idea that someone will just come and hand out to me all that which I desire. Clearly, she doesn't believe in the Genie in the Lamp.
At any rate. I hope you enjoy. Who ever you are. I can't always promise that this will be "right up your alley." I know a lot of people that find me, and my opinions, to be quite annoying. In fact, I've been told several times that I'm the type of person who, like a wordy piece of classic literature sitting on your bookshelf missing its dust jacket, gets better the deeper you get into it. I promise you that if you judge me by my plain cover and title, you'll surely be disappointed. Likewise, if you were to turn to some random page (in my brain perhaps), you might find a gem, or a total piece of dung. Hopefully, I'll be able to sort out my thoughts and give you only the gems. If you think it's dung, well, maybe that's just your opinion and to you I stick out my tongue and make that farting noise.

Raphe